What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Thoughts about my childhood

This question has presented itself many times in my life and it always makes me dream and think about the possibilities. There is something intrinsically valuable in embracing one's inner child. Does anyone recall being able to challenge conventional wisdom simply through imagination?

I do. I remember doing rediculously dangerous things like jumping off our second story patio completely convinced that I would be able to fly, or diving into the deep end of the pool before I learned how to swim. I am extremely grateful that my parents were always available to rescue and educate me about my potentially life-threatening decisions. I was the kind of child that would leave the house in the middle of the night and wander into the street.  I was just curious enough to wait until everyone was asleep and go on my adventure.  After the second time Mom had to put deadbolts at the very top so I couldn't even reach it with a chair.

The truth of the matter is that I don't ever recall being afraid. Punishment for not listening was a consequence but that didn't seem to curb my desire to figure things out for myself.  Yet,  somewhere along the way; like a thief in the night, an insidious moment occurred and I traded in my curiosities for Fears:

Fear of being rejected. Fear of being alone. Fear of failure. Fear of Everything...

Why? Because I wanted to please others. My self-worth and value changed because I learned that if I didn't seek approval and receive it, I would be an outcast.  We unnaturally transition from being praised to trying to make the grade.

For example: My first grade teacher decided that I couldn't read although her attempt at holding me back for another year of torture resulted in an extremely interesting result.  The testing proved that I was already above a 6th grade comprehension and reading level as I maxed out thier testing materials.  That news left me quite elated..In my mind I imagined that I might be smarter than her by the time I reached High School.  I digress but her humiliation and degradation of me was endless in our classroom and I think it served to shape my personality a great deal..

For the longest time, I couldn't really figure out why I was so desperate for success and approval and whatever else makes us appreciated as "grown-ups". Now, I completely get the meaning behind the term "rat race". Why did it take so long to realize that there was never a place for me on the wheel that goes nowhere?  All of the years I spent trying to blend in were not necessarily wasted because I gained valuable insight.  It  is kind of like belonging to the cult without drinking the k00l-aid. 

And this leads me to my final point: Every sip from the cup of conventional ideals, if I don't  personally believe in them, could result in concocting my own personal "Death Juice". In some ways, the process has already begun but I had an epiphany:

We are humans and collectively able to do anything we set our minds and ambitions to. We have the ability to re-brand ourselves. We are not fixed like a tree and can move about at will so that begs the question, what would you do if  you knew you could not fail? NOW is the time to re-discover our fearless youths and tame the other restless lions that once held us captive.

 Endure. Be Strong yet Humble and ALWAYS Trust Your Intuition!

Greet your new future as I have mine! (More about that in a future post).

Comments

[Kytari]

You are quite welcome.

[Mohamed]

A great and very inspiring post. I love how you phrased your question. Thanks.