Be Inspired

My Brother's A-1 Super Magnificent Great Splendor Movie Buffet

My Clever Brother posted this on his myspace blog.  Talent runs in the family ;-) We have discussed Denzel Washington's minimalistic approach to facial expressions on several occasions as noted in part 3 below.  My added comments are in bold-type.

Ok, I know the Oscars were so last Sunday, but I have to give my 98 cents on movies. That's $1 minus your 2 cents. Sorry I have to carry the load, but you had your chance already. Some movies you have to see:  (Most will be new, but some will be older ones that you may have missed or overlooked)         1. No Country for Old Men: The Coen Brothers Grimm are back.  It captures all the weirdness of West and South Texas in like 90 minutes.  The dialogue, the masterful dialect, the starkness of the landscape, the can't peel your eyes away performance by Javier Berdum.  Like Colin Cowherd said on ESPN radio the other day, the movie is setup perfectly for a watchable, relevant sequel.  The "Prop of all Props" as I shall call it, is incredible.  Very violent, watch alone or with a bud.        2. 3:10 to Yuma:  It's no surprise a Russell Crowe movie is going to make my list twice. Say what you will about the guy, but he can flat-out act.  In this great western of our time, Russell Crowe is, without a doubt, one bad dude.  The movie has it all. Good themes, a decent plot, solid acting, the villain hitting on the protagonist's wife making her feel hot again, (why not, it is Gretchen Mol we're talking about), and a good ending that brings closure without being too sugary or glossed over.         3. American Gangster:  Can't lose with Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington going at the top of their game. Plus, we get to see all four of Denzel Washington's facial expressions. 1. The serious "I'm going to do what I have to do to protect me and my family because no one else gives a damn" look. 2. The "It's like that is it?" look.  3. The "Underbite/Protruding jaw you like what you're seeing, don't you?" (which is also reserved for the existential inner dialogue look) & 4. The "I know we are related or close, but why are you so dumb?" countenance.  The scene towards the end with Crowe interviewing Washington is pretty sweet. It harkens back to the scene in HEAT with Pacino and De Niro sitting down in the diner, only it's a little more believable because neither guy is overacting throughout the movie (Pacino).  Speaking of Pacino, where has he been? Guess the Dr. Seuss crossed with that crazy guy you met at the dog park last week is a little hard to cast for.  Lots of 70's style, au natural, booby shots. So, for the faint-hearted, beware.  In the 70's people had to work and be creative to smuggle in 2000 kilos of cocaine. Seriously, 2000 kilos of cocaine!  Going by the movie's suggestion that "Blue Magic" was 100 percent pure, and cocaine that pure averaging about $80-$100 a gram, equates to somewhere between $160 to $200 million, in the 70's by a drug dealer in Harlem!!! Mind-Bending.        4. We Own the Night: Very watchable movie about family, the drug war, and the decisions we all have to make.  First 30 seconds really, um... pulls you in, if you will.  The great thing about this movie and Amerigangster, is that they both show how this country does not really want to win the drug war as it employs far too many of us, and ensures job security.  Not as clever as The Departed, but far more entertaining especially with the added bonus of Eva Mendes(Mmmmmm, good:)         5. Black Book: Dutch movie about a beautiful Jewish girl who is spying for the Resistance by sleeping with a high ranking German official during everybody's favorite war, WWII.  The lead actress, I forgot her name because she's Dutch, is stunningly talented and sings her own songs in the movie sounding very much like Marlene Dietrich.  It is in Dutch subtitles, but the movie is so good you will forget.  Lots of classic spy double crossing and what not. Gratuitous European nudity can be hit or miss, and there is some in this movie, but it is mostly hit.        6. King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters: Yep, that is actually the title. What is it about, you ask? Oh, just a bunch of nerds competing to best high scores on a bunch of old video games you quit playing about the same time you stopped thinking your Flock of Seagulls do was out of style and you decided to throw away the "Aqua Net" hairspray.  Speaking of that stuff, man that crap was strong.  Not nearly as strong as this 80's Commie Russian hairspray my sister had though. That hairspray could melt concrete.  I think it had more CFCs in it than a styrofoam cup factory. Back to the movie.  Seriously, what could be more entertaining about a wonderfully pieced together documentary about a bunch of 40 somethings besting each other's Donkey Kong scores.  These guys are so competitive, it's like watching all the hype before a title bout.  The nerds are so nerdy, they are compelling.  There is trickery, posturing, guys questioning each other's manhood, questioning the validity of video-taped scores.  Yeah, these guys still use VHS tapes of them playing games, like Q-Bert. Remember that one? Probably not, I don't either.  Apparently, scores get validated by some guy who still lives in the upstairs room at his mom's.  He watches for glitches in the recording, he goes to the location and inspects the machine(motherboards, soldering points, and all) to see if the machine has been rigged or if the player is cheating, etc.  The bad guy in the movie thinks he is the best Donkey Kong player ever, and is full of himself because of this alleged talent which is completely hilarious in it's own right.  He has groupies, a fellow peer on his support team. It's ridiculous, but you can't stop enjoying it.       8. Michael Clayton:  The king of smug, look at me I'm so much better than everyone alive, George Clooney, actually makes and produces a decent lawyer film.  It is the typical plot of Big Huge Evil Corporation acting all corporationey (you don't know 'cause you've never been to college. We're second semester freshmen) killing people with some wicked DDT fertilizer. But this time, it's all about the corporationey corporation trying to cover it up.  Clooney gives us all plenty of smug smiles to remind us all how much better looking he is than I am, but does well as the law firm representin' the corp. "fixer". You know, one who fixes problems.  Tilda Swinton is great as the head legal counsel/negotiator of the corp. and the scene watching her sweat and rub her extremely sweaty armpits is really hot. Kidding. It's not. This movie isn't short, but it is rewarding as it makes me feel better about myself than George Clooney does.  Buy a Prius. Good rentals:        The Lives of Others.  German movie about East Germany spying on it's citizens.  Chief spy of a group of artists realizes there is more than Communism, and contemplates a change of heart struggling with himself to let go of his heavily indoctrinated beliefs.  Added bonus of some really cool interrogation techniques, and how to listen to what an interrogated person is actually saying.  "Miss" European nudity in this one.  There are some things we all would rather not see.     The Heartbreak Kid.  Good old Ben Stiller schtick. Certainly better than anything Vince Vaughn has done the past couple of years.  Although, I am disappointed in lead actress in this one.  I don't understand why everyone thinks Malin Akerman is hot. She isn't.  She has a pretty face, but she looks kinda like a Holocaust survivor with a tan, or a pale Ethiopian.  Better yet, remember that model of the skeletal system hanging in your 8th grade science teacher's class?  Stretch some skin over and put Cameron Diaz's head on top, and Wah-La, Malin Akerman.  Someone please take that girl through the CiCi's Pizza buffet fifty times.  And I remember when I thought Calista Flockhart looked hungry. (Hated this movie. Ben Stiller really came off as a wander-lusted loser and the psychotic episodes of his bride reinforces the unfounded theory that women are one diamond ring away from lunacy and an entire personality overhall.)     Bloody Sunday. This movie came out a few years ago, but is a can't miss.  It retells the events of that day in a DocuDrama sort of way that really wraps you up in it.  There is a part in the movie towards the end that made me cry, honest. It is that powerful.  It builds to the climax you know is coming, but it does not lose intensity or meaning.  Irish dialect is a little hard to hear sometimes, but just turning up the volume solves it. Alas, there is no U2 music to go along with it, but that would not be very historical.    A Scanner Darkly.  Weird movie with a cool visual concept. Robert Downey Jr. is thoroughly entertaining as a paranoid, coked out of his mind train wreck, but I'm not completely sure he is acting all the way through it.  Nice little indictment on not only drugs and the drug war, but pharmaceutical companies, I think. I mean come on, we as a nation are so hooked on drugs, illegal or not, it's insane.  Everybody takes a pill for something except for me, I just grab a 24 oz. Lo-Carb Monster in the morning just to get a little pep, that's all. (Hypocrite!!! That stuff is illegal in Europe)   Big Disappointments: Movies I was expecting more from, Good Luck Chuck:  Dane Cook's stand up is funny as hell, but his movies suffer from banality.  Still trying to figure out if it's him, the writing, or his opposite love interests.  Gotta love the Jessicas, they are both beautiful, but are not really going to snap and pop like say an Amy Smart or Anna Farris would. Now she is funny.  Maybe he should start infusing some more of his stand up in the role.  As for his annoying sidekick, the guy with the grape fruit, man that was awful.  Once again, nothing original. Just trying to go for the quick chuckle. (I don't even have to see the movie to agree) Jumper:  The previews really make this like a cool ride. It isn't.  Hayden Christiansen only has one facial expression, and he brought down Star Wars I-III. III was good though, and he couldn't ruin that no matter how hard he tried.  The problem is, he just doesn't project emotion well, and in this movie which claims to be a realistic superhero story, it is sorely missed.  The movie is missing character development, and the only one you get to like is the other jumper Hayden teams up with to defeat Samuel L. Jackson. Not enough material for the Uber-cute Rachel Bilson either.  As a note, I would like to add that anything with Kirsten Dunst in it is less than desirable.  She can't act and isn't pretty. A winning combination. Yet, she made more than half of Arkansas proving that its not what you know, its who you know. (Again, Brother and I are aligned on this opinion) Lost: Season 4.  While I love waiting excitedly to know what is going to happen every week, and trust me I do.  I would like Lost to get back to its character development aspects that shined so brightly the first two seasons.  And two seasons later, I am still upset they killed off the smokin' blonde who was just beginning to stop being such a bitch.  Maybe they could bring her back in some flashbacks or something. (Lost is annoying and so are the people that have followed the story with their endless attempts to analyze the purpose and plot after the 1st two seasons. Occasionally, I get trapped at the home of a Lost Fanatic and I have come to the conclusion that the writers are the ones who are Truly Lost)

Movie Parodies in Bun-O-Vision

If you want to see something very amusing watch these 30 second movies:

Brokeback  Mountain, re-enacted by bunnies...

The Shining, re-enacted by bunnies....