Growing Pains

When I was a little girl I had the worst growing pains.  I would wake up in the middle of the night in such anguish because my legs hurt so badly. Surprisingly, I am not tall but what everyone told me about the pain made me think that one day I would be.

I feel like a small child again, crying out in pain because I am still growing and there isn't anything that can be done. It simply has to happen. Whatever I am going through, while extremely unpleasant, is part of some process and learning experience.

Today would be our two year anniversary and I learned beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has been in another relationship for several months.  He would tell her he was in Oklahoma because he wanted to spend the weekend with me and then drop me off at the airport only to meet her.  He took her out of town on Christmas weekend while I was visiting my family in Ohio. 

There is so much more but I don't feel the need to rant...my family and friends have been gracious enough to listen and comfort me in my time of need. Even my last post serves as a reminder of my hopes for 2010 and this situation doesn't change my goals one bit. 

Sounds kind of strong but it is only because I know that I dodged a bullet. In all honesty,  I am heartbroken, saddened, and confused by the whole situation.  I thought we would get married but the only time that discussion resurfaced again is when his hand was caught in the cookie jar.  I ingratiated myself placing all of the blame for this on me and that was wrong too.

I know this is a pain that I am experiencing right now but I am determined to learn and grow from it.  After all, that is how this blog got started in the first place.

Comments

[Julieanna]

Hang in there. Better days are ahead.

[Kytari]

Thank you for the uplifting words. Sorry I missed you at Christmas too. I didn't really tell anyone ahead of time. I just facebooked that I was in town when I arrived and got to see a few friends. My goal was to spend a lot of time with my Dad since I had not been home in a while. I hope you and your family are doing wonderful. You are all fantastic people.

[Nathan Burke]

Sorry to hear about your loss. Also sorry to have missed you as I was also in Ohio for Christmas and could have seen you and shared some holiday cheer. Sounds like you could have used it. You are an amazing person Kytari, don't forget it.
Nathan